It's not about every d/s dynamic, just our specific dynamic! And I wouldn't say it's necessarily about the charming disaster being submissive so much as it is the organized one being in charge? But yeah, that's just the way the two of us work together, it's not anything inherent to d/s itself. Like, I've sort of subbed to you in a low-key grinding-and-makeouts way, and I feel like our vibe is more like two charming disasters colliding and taking out half the furniture on the way. And when I dated Pi, we both had to be put together because the charming disaster lifestyle does not fit into her schedule. Different relationships are different!