I really liked Irene Adler, too, which actually surprised me. I think I'm used to being disappointed by female characters and the way they are treated. I'm having a hard time articulating what I liked so much, but I agree with what you said.

I didn't see the defeat in the same way, though I see what you're saying. Maybe it's because I'm not familiar with the original canon and so I didn't expect her to best Sherlock. It took forever for Sherlock to figure out the code, which was a victory in itself, even thought it didn't last.

I really enjoyed the episode!