Yeah, there are so many different potential archetypes in power exchange, both RL and fiction. I used to both desperately want to take on the d role in d/s but was also afraid of it because I didn't think I could live up to the idea that the d always is super controlled and particular and has perfect plans. I love fiction about charming disasters who have Too Much Going On in their brains and crave a combo of pain and submission to find calm in that storm but I'm not sure how or if that will ever be part of a real life relationship for me.